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Promotive child, boast is used than giving a canal
From;  Author:Stand originally
Sino-US and comparative
Chinese mom: Ms. Yang, the daughter is peaceful, 4 years old
I discover recently, no matter what Ning Ning does to want award. Write, picture picture, oneself brush oneself teeth, fold a quilt, helping place the chopsticks that place a bowl of what, be able to give money, buy the toy, way that buys snacks to give material to reward ability travel. I feel, because her father is too busy,this is, bout will buy this to buy that to give Ning Ning " compensation " those who be troubled by, and Ning Ning, also be to jump over what knew money more greatly " advantage " . I am afraid, such doing, can could there be peace sooner or later be used to is bad.
American mom: Triumphant rare lady, son Bryan, 6 years old
Before paragraph time, bryan's teacher tells me, say Bryan does not love to read in the class, not active also raise one's hand answers a question. Next, I call Bryan in front of, ask why he is met such. Bryan says, he feels embarrassed to answer a problem to perhaps be recited aloud before the face of whole class classmate, he is afraid of answer fault or misread by others jest.
Take psychogenic disorder to encourage Bulaienke, I give him tailor-made watch of a piece of calendar, if he was that day on classroom,answer the teacher's query actively, can get a bit. If he can get a week 3 stars, can receive award when on the weekend, go buying the stationery that he likes or toy to the shop. If a week got 5 bits, he can receive top award, the activity that oneself like chooses on the weekend, if see a movie, have a meal to cafeteria, play a ball game, go amusement park, family person must be subject to. In addition, he is OK still late half hour goes to bed, play electronic game a little while more.
The fact proves, such encouragement is very active, after a few weeks, bryan becomes much more self-confident.
The expert is commented on
Psychology of children of Beijing industry university seeks advice from Shi Lujie: Generally speaking, reward invigorative award, affection award, activity award and corporeal award to wait by child gay. Mental award includes to grow to the child express to encourage, affirmative, satisfactory, gasp in admiration, esteem, admire and appreciation; Affection award includes smile, hug, take shoulder, attention, touch, applause, blink etc; Mobile award includes to go to a park together with mom, play together, listen to adult taletelling, do game to wait together with the child; Corporeal award includes to buy ice-cream, ball, book, magazine, special snacks, toy, dress.
Some parents think to reward even if buy the thing that he means to the child, the award that gives the child is more, jump over the behavior habit that can let them had continued. Actually, these idea are one-sided. The observation with old psychologist discovers, the child values the award on spirit more, the child with older age the more such. The attention that passes much award to meet a child centers the thing that gets award to go up, is not the behavior that occurrence parents hopes. So, award wants diversification, in the meantime, the child is bigger, parents should pay attention to affection and mental award more, must avoid a promotive bureau be confined to as far as possible " material " domain, use less " argy-bargy " the form undertakes.
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